#002: Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

Welcome back guys. This is episode #002 of To Take It Or Leave It, a podcast to help you change the way you look at things and your mental suffering and give you some motivation and inspiration to live your best life. I’m so glad you’re here. I’m Val Poirier and I’m your host. Please hit that subscribe button so that you don’t miss an episode. You can also leave me a review on Apple podcast to help my podcast stay visible. Today’s topic is life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

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We live in a world where we have so many things that just help us be comfortable and people don’t like to take risks and they just like to stay comfortable. Do you know what does not happen when you stay comfortable in your comfort zone? Growth. Because growth happens when you let yourself be uncomfortable. I think that a lot of people tell themselves that being uncomfortable is a bad thing, or it means that something is wrong. When you feel fear, it means stop and it’s too hard, but that is the wrong way of thinking.

Our brain is programmed to protect ourselves. And maybe in the past, something that you’ve done has made you. As an example, maybe you were met with an angry person. And so whenever you tried to have a conversation with them, they just wouldn’t listen to you and they would yell loud. And so something that you have done is you have stopped making your voice heard because it was easier to not to say anything than to try to deal with this angry person who was hurting your feelings. And so now has an adult you have a hard time dealing with people when they’re upset. This used to be me. And I thought when people were upset that, you know, it’s my job to protect their feelings. And I didn’t actually consciously think that, but subconsciously that’s what my behavior was doing was that when somebody was upset, it was my job to not upset them more instead of letting them have their own feelings and letting them take care of them. And that was something that was a really big thing for me to work through. And it came with a lot of anxiety and a lot of intentional work and reminding myself that it’s not my job to take care of their feelings. It’s my job to express my voice. And, you know, guys, this was probably the best thing that, one of the best things that I could have worked on. So. There’s things like that, that, you know, they’re uncomfortable. And I won’t say that I enjoy dealing with upset people, but it definitely does not make me uncomfortable anymore. I have a lot of empathy for them.

Some other things that I’ve done that have made me feel uncomfortable is I have participated in a few triathlons. And, while you definitely have to allow your body to be uncomfortable, there was this one race where we got to the race and they announced that they were not gonna allow wetsuits in the water that day. And I thought, Oh my God, what am I going to do? Because I had not trained in open water without a wet suit. And one of the things I like least is being cold. So the reason that the wetsuit wasn’t allowed was because the water was too warm. And if they let us race in a wetsuit, it would be too hot for our bodies.  Our temperature in our bodies would be too warm. So they were doing this for our safety. Yet, I now had to go into a race and I didn’t know what to expect, and that was really uncomfortable for me. But, you know what guys, I really wanted to finish that race and it meant a lot to me. And so I thought, okay, you know what? I could back out, or I can just go ahead. And what’s the worst that could happen. I might be cold for a little bit, but I am moving my body. So it is going to warm up and I did the race and it was actually quite comfortable because the water being a little bit cooler than what I was used to wearing a wetsuit was actually really refreshing.

Some things that you might tell yourself about why you don’t want to leave your comfort zone or why you don’t want to change how you do things, which means you have to leave your comfort zone is that maybe you’re telling yourself that you’re not smart enough and that’s not true. You might not have the information, but we are all capable of learning. Maybe you’re telling yourself that I’m too old, or I missed my chance. I can’t do this. But I’m going to tell you what guys, I am 40 years old and I’ve started my own business. And I’ve started a lot of different things because 40 is not the end 40 does not mean I’m too old. It does not mean I miss my chance. You know, everybody doesn’t figure out what they want to do when they’re 15. And when you do figure it out, that’s when you should go for it. And you shouldn’t let anything hold you back. You’re never too old to be doing what you love. You might be saying I’m not strong enough. I don’t have the right skills. These are all excuses, to be honest. And if you really want it, you’ll stop making excuses and you’ll figure out how to do it. The right way of thinking is you’re not too old. It’s never too late. I can learn new things. If I put in the hard work, I can do it. And even if it doesn’t turn out how I want, I will learn something and you won’t have any regrets.

With the triathlon, every race that I do, I learn something new. I might learn that I need some different equipment or I might learn a different technique just by observing what other people do. Some of the obstacles that you might face when you’re trying to change is self-doubt and self-confidence. I’ve heard a lot of people say, Oh, I really wish that I was like this, but that’s just not me. I really wish I could do this, but that’s not me. And those people are making excuses. They  don’t want to face their hard emotions and being uncomfortable because the only thing that stops you from change is telling yourself who you are not because you get to define every day, you get to wake up and say, this is who I am. And you get to go out and get the skills to be that person or a better version of that person, whoever that is that you decide. But when you get up and you say, Oh, well, I’m not, I can’t run a marathon that I’m just not built like that. Or I don’t have confidence. Do you know what guys? Confidence is a skill. And the more you practice, the better it becomes.

And one of the other obstacles you might find is that you don’t have the motivation for it. And that also is easily solvable. Motivation can come in a lot of different places. You can, you know, find a community of people that are working towards the same thing. When I was doing triathlons, I belong to the Saskatoon triathlon club and I belonged to a girls road biking group called Pedal Wenches. And that was a lot of fun. And I was being coached in swimming as well. And I surrounded myself with a community of the same kind of people that had the same goals as me. For example, motivational speakers. They sometimes they speak on certain topics and there’s also motivational speakers that just want you to do what you love and encourage you to live your best life. Those are also life coaches, and there is a big community of people who just want to encourage other people to be happy and spread positivity. And it’s very easy to become part of that community. And it feels really good.

Another obstacle that you might struggle with is time. You know, I could talk about what you’re doing with your time for a really long time. I’m going to say this. You can tell yourself that you don’t have time, but I want you to sit down and think about what your priorities are, because I am no different than any one of you guys. I just have really clear priorities and. I have a full-time day job. I have a new relationship. I have seven kids in this house most of the time, and I work out every day and I find time to enjoy life. And also, to start a business and to record this podcast and to do my blog. Hey, guess what guys? I also sleep around seven and a half hours every night. So if you’re telling me that you don’t have time, it’s time to think about what you’re doing with your time and how bad you really want something.

What would it feel like for you to do the things that you can’t stop thinking about? Because it is possible. If you show up and you keep trying, and you surround yourself with people who encourage you, you will gain so much. If it doesn’t challenge you, it’s not going to change you. Being outside your comfort zone is where you grow and where you change. And you’re only confined by the walls that you build yourself. You get to tell yourself who you want to be.

Coming out of your comfort zone is tough in the beginning, chaotic in the middle and awesome in the end, because in the end it shows you a whole new world. So make an attempt and try to do this. You will face obstacles. Don’t let them scare you. Fear is part of the game. And when you can master your fear and not have your emotions control your life, you will grow even faster when you learn how to control your emotions.

Trying things outside your comfort zone is essential because your ability to grow as a person is directly related to the amount of insecurity you can handle. So be strong and fearless on this journey that we call life. Thomas Jefferson once said, “if you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” So stop and think about maybe you want to get in shape. You’ve never been in shape. And there’s a reason that you’ve never been in shape and it’s because you don’t have the routines and the habits that you need to be in shape, but that does not mean that you can’t do that. And is it going to be hard? I’m not going to lie, guys. It’s going to be hard and you got to find a way to keep going and find people that will help you do that.

If you don’t step outside of your comfort zone and face your fears, the number of situations that make you uncomfortable will keep growing. This is so true. The more that you try to avoid a situation, the more it’s going to be in your face until you finally deal with it. Ask yourself right now, are you happy or are you comfortable? Because I can say for myself that I used to think that I was happy. And now I have made myself comfortable being uncomfortable. And I can say that I was not happy before. I was comfortable. And now I’m happy and I’m uncomfortable a lot, which is a really comfortable feeling for me because that’s how often I do it. Brian Tracy said “the comfort zone is the great enemy of courage and confidence.” And courage and confidence grow when you let yourself be uncomfortable.

You deserve happiness and you can do this. People who care about you will want to help you succeed and good people want to help others. It’s not too late, guys. You’re not too old and you can learn new things. Yes, it’s going to be hard. So today what I want you to do is I want you to do something uncomfortable. Something small that I can think of is, are you one of those people that when you go to the gas station and you pump gas, the dollars have to be exact? What would happen if you went and got gas and you know, when the pump stops and the dollars are all uneven, what if you just stopped right there and said, yep, I can do this. And, you know, you might think that that’s really insignificant. And again, it’s not about what you’re actually doing. It’s about how you’re making yourself feel. And you’re making yourself feel uncomfortable with doing something different and that isn’t going to have an impact, like the gas, the even dollars or the, or the uneven dollars is not going to have a big impact on your life. But if you can allow yourself to be uncomfortable and just do it,  that’s one way to get comfortable doing something uncomfortable. And like I say, all the time, guys start with something small and that is something small that you can do today to be uncomfortable.

So that’s it for today guys. Please share this podcast with someone you know and help share my message. Remember that you know yourself better than anyone else and be confident that you will make the right decision for how to live your best life. You can also follow me on Instagram @valcpoirier and take a screenshot of what you’re listening to and tag me in your stories with what you think. You can also send me a DM with your feedback. I love hearing from you and it helps me improve the podcast. It also helps me know what you want to hear about.

Keep reaching for your goals, guys, you got this. See you next time.

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