This year marks the first Christmas that the nine of us are celebrating together as a blended family. There will be some firsts for each of our two families as we combine our traditions and also form some new ones. As joyful as our time will be, I want to acknowledge the grief that will also be in all our hearts. There is a loss of the original families we once had. This is something we allow each other and the children to express, feel and mourn. Our memories and feelings are real and they matter. You can’t heal from something you don’t allow yourself to feel.
When I think back to my childhood, I don’t remember the gifts I received. What I remember are the traditions that we had from year to year, and the time I spent with my family. I remember decorating the tree and the house. I remember hiding baby Jesus in the tree to be found and put in the manger on Christmas morning. I remember the egg nog and nutmeg. I remember the smell of Christmas dinner and the bean salad I eventually came to enjoy. I remember the Christmas crackers and the silly hats we would wear while we ate. And the fun but useless toys and jokes that were inside. I remember all the delicious pickles and olives. I remember how my dad would overload my grandma’s pumpkie pie with whipped cream and she would tease him. I remember playing cards and games with my family and visiting with my cousins. These are some of my favorite memories.
Every year, we would go to my grandparents house, on my mom’s side, to celebrate with her side of the family. The adults would attend midnight mass while the older cousins would watch the younger ones. We played, visited, laughed and ate! The older cousins played billiards downstairs. I remember everyone helping out in the kitchen when midnight lunch was served after midnight mass. We would open our presents and then head back home. I even remember my grandma dressed up as Santa one year. My other grandparents and uncle would make the trip from Manitoba to stay with us and we would celebrate with them Christmas morning and for a few more days. I remember playing a lot of cards and having Christmas supper complete with Christmas crackers. The Christmas holidays were filled with family and with making memories. But once again, I remember very little about the presents I received. They were just things and they were not what made me happy.
In our home, we have a Christmas Eve tradition where we each get a new pair of pajamas to wear and a new ornament to hang on the tree. The girls all get matching pajamas and so do the boys. And a new tradition this year is that the adults get fun Christmas themed pajamas! I’m pretty excited about this! The kids really enjoy choosing a new ornament every year. And I love watching as they grow and their interests change. Yes, that means that our tree will be completely full of ornaments as they get older and that’s ok. It’s about making memories. These are the things they look forward to, ask about and remember from year to year. We decorate gingerbread houses and donate toys to children who’s parents can’t afford them. Every Christmas we also do a Christmas themed jigsaw puzzle. This is one of my favorite traditions.
What will it look like under the tree around here this year? A few years back I had heard of this gift giving system of – something to read, something to wear, something they need and something they want. I think my sister had introduced me to it. I tried it out and it works great for my family! It’s simple and there is no over buying and over gifting. There is no stress about how much is enough to buy. There is no stress about money. There is just enough to give them something to appreciate while not making them feel entitled to receive everything their heart desires.
Christmas is not about the presents anyways. Christmas is a time to slow down and enjoy time with family while we can. Life is short and it’s important to appreciate what we have before it’s gone. Christmas is about peace, love and joy. I hope for you this Christmas that you feel these in your heart and soul. Merry Christmas to you all!
What’s your favorite Christmas memory and tradition?