Fear vs Faith

You have two choices in how you live your life. You get to choose: a life of fear or a life of faith. One comes from a place of control and one from a place of vulnerability. You can’t do both at the same time!

Your brain is wired to keep you safe. That’s it’s job. To react to perceived danger. Fear is real but let’s be clear that it is an emotion. Emotions are not meant to make decisions in our lives. It’s your job to be aware of it when it comes up, to decide if the danger is real or made up and to respond to the situation accordingly. There are lots of behaviours that people exhibit that are really reactions to fears they aren’t even aware they have! This was me until I analyzed all my behaviours and increased my level of consciousness. Fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of judgement, etc.

Fear of failure. Let’s talk about this for a sec. Why are you scared of failing? Failing means you’re trying! Which is better than not trying. What if it works out? You would never know if you didn’t try. So what if it doesn’t work perfectly the first time? You’ll have figured out how not to do it and try something else. Learn the lesson and keep moving forward. Don’t change your goal, but be flexible in your method. Failing does not scare me because I don’t expect perfection. I can see the lesson in any situation and learn from it. This gives me lots of experience and helps me in reaching my goals.

Fear of abandonment. This is when you aren’t true to yourself because you fear losing a relationship. You don’t show up as the person you want to be. This does not feel good. You minimize yourself, make yourself small, stay quiet when you have something to say and don’t take up the space you deserve. You basically devalue yourself. But do you really want to keep someone in your life who doesn’t accept you for who you are and will only continue the relationship with the condition that you don’t be yourself? Do you want others to show up as their true authentic selves? Treat yourself the way you would treat others. This used to be me, but not anymore. Now you get the real me. ALL OF ME. Why? Because it feels freeing to be myself. I want others to be themselves too and am confident in my ability to communicate with them if their behaviour is hurting me and to negotiate boundaries in the relationships that matter to me. I also expect the same in return though. I’m no mind reader, so talk to me! I can’t fix what I don’t know!

Fear of rejection. Do you avoid doing things because you don’t think you will be accepted? ie. walk up to that group of strangers and strike up a conversation, apply for that job in case you’re not the successful candidate….. What’s the worst that could happen? You would be in the same place you are now. If it doesn’t happen for you then it wasn’t meant to be. Anywhere in your life where you are rejected is simply a redirection to what’s meant for you. Take a chance! I remember applying for jobs in the past and then not getting them. While that made me sad at the time, it left room for my current job and I couldn’t be happier with where I am and what I’m doing. The other jobs weren’t meant to be and were not a reflection of who I was but they were a great experience at interviewing for me. Perspective people!

Fear of judgement. Do you hold yourself back because you think other people will judge you? Let’s talk about perspective again for a moment. Do you judge others, for example when they make a mistake? I ask you these questions: do you make mistakes? Yes. We all do. We’re human. Are you perfect? I didn’t think so. Human again! Perfectly imperfect. So why would you judge another person for being human, or for doing something that brings them joy, or for deciding for themselves what’s best for their lives? Stop worrying about what other people think, live your life the way you want to and let others do the same! They can make their own decisions. Other people’s opinions about you don’t matter and are none of your business. That’s about them. That’s a reflection of what they would do for themselves. You’re not them. Be you! Give yourself some grace if you make a mistake. This is something I’ve very good at doing now and since I have no fear of failure, I make a lot of mistakes, because I’m TRYING to figure it out and get it right. Once you accept that you’re not perfect, that no one is perfect, it becomes easier to give yourself and others grace for their mistakes.

Fear is not meant to hold you back from living your best life. How do you get past it? Self awareness and courage are key! Little acts of courage build trust with yourself. Yes this means you need to be vulnerable. Yes that can be scary. But it’s totally worth it. This trust builds your confidence. This confidence knows that you can figure out anything that happens in your life. You’ve figured it all out up until now and will figure things out until the day you die!

So many people try to control situations and people in their life when in reality control is an illusion. The only thing you can control in life is your thoughts, your visualizations and your actions. Once you accept this reality and throw everything out to the universe, there is an amazing weight lifted off your shoulders that you’ve been carrying. These fears are heavy! Let them go! The feeling you experience once you do is called FREEDOM! And it feels amazing! Go after what you want! After all, we only have one life!

Which fears are still holding you back? What can you do to take those small steps to get past them? Tell me in the comments below!